All I need is “Danger Zone” playing and some aviator sunglasses.
Used to do code for those sims. Funny things is, you can ignore like 90% of the stuff in there in there cuz most of it has an auto setting.
Me flipping on reverse thrust and parking brake before touching the ground in FSX because I’m like 100 kts above the landing speed
Keep plane in sky, above the ground (unless you meant to), check!✈️
Do a barrel roll!
I like pleasure spiked with pain so yeah
That motherfucker’s always spiked with pain
Few additions:
- “reverse thrust” → “slow down (after you land)”
- (at foot pedals) “Push both to brake (after you land), push one or the other to turn”
- “go fast” → “go fast (keep levers together)”
- “keep it above the ground” → “keep it above the ground, but not too high”
- (at IAS indiciator) “how fast you’re going”, “keep between 170 and 400, lower to 140 when landing”
- “make wings bigger” → “make wings bigger, required when taking off or landing”
Some more practical tips.
- if the autopilot is engaged, you can’t physically move the wheels, because it is moving them for you. Press the red button on the steering wheel to disconnect autopilot.
- That IAS tape on the left of the sky/ground box is the most important thing on the plane. It’s got red bands on the high side and low side that you should stay out of.
- if the plane tells you there’s a “stall, stall” you need to push the wheels forward to make the nose go down. And keep the speed above that lower red band.
- the black button on the wheel is the push-to-talk to talk on the radio, or maybe the internal PA system. Depends how it’s set up.
- most important: the switch for the “fasten seatbelt” sign is usually on the bottom of the top panel. You can flip it on and off as much as you want. (Older planes will also let you do this with the “no smoking” sign).
if the autopilot is engaged, you can’t physically move the wheels, because it is moving them for you.
I’m pretty sure on newer 737s the autopilot disconnects when it detects a sufficient physical force on the yoke. But yeah the button is easier and safer.
most important: the switch for the “fasten seatbelt” sign is usually on the bottom of the top panel. You can flip it on and off as much as you want. (Older planes will also let you do this with the “no smoking” sign).
Gee, how the hell did everyone miss this? The most important control element.
I’m pretty sure on newer 737s the autopilot disconnects when it detects a sufficient physical force on the yoke.
On airplanes that don’t do this, the autopilot servos are clutched so that you can still override them by applying a specified amount of force. There are reinforced points on the bottom of the dash panel that you can use with your foot to get leverage to help with this.
(This also applies as a backup on planes that do disconnect)
How tempting is it to push all the buttons all the time?
How could they forget the foot pedals? That’s a whole axis and objectively the most fun controls on the plane.
adding:
- All the buttons behind you are circuit breakers.
Yeah, the foot pedals and IAS indicator are glaring omissions. I guess they really just want you to fly with autopilot and autothrust, but good fucking luck setting up autoland without prior experience.
they should add a big red emergency button behind the pilot seat that allows air traffic control to set it remotely
i mean i assume good luck landing without prior experience in general … surely it’d be easier for someone over the radio to walk you through setting some auto things correctly than walking you through how to land?
Yeah, you will need someone to help you. Still, ILS CATIII autoland is a nuanced mode that needs many conditions to fullfill and is complicated to get right. Landing visually (maybe with basic ILS as a guide) is probably easier for someone with no experience.
Set the autopilot, make yourself a coffee while you skim the manual, successful landing.
(at foot pedals) “Push both to brake (after you land), push one or the other to turn”
Doesn’t the 737 have toe brakes?
you have to remove your shoes for those?
The more toes you push down, the more slowly it goes.
(after you land)
Bold of you to assume we’re landing this in a controlled fashion.
It’s more as a reminder to NOT engage reverse thrust while in the air.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking… We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight… By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
Fly? Yes.
Land? No.
Land: probably
Survivable: probably not
Everyone can land at least one.
“That’s not flying, that’s falling with style!”
Me playing GTA.
Where is the AI button?
Ask the copilot.
He says he’s got Cursory knowledge.
Here, take this: 🍪
Pff.
Just caption an Airbus. Assuming you’re in flight, you just need the buttons to engage cat III auto landing, make wings bigger, make wheels stick out, and brakes after you land.
Hopefully just activate ILS. There’s no way you wouldn’t be diverted to an airport that doesn’t require a Cat III landing, even a IIIA is stupid dangerous for a trained crew. iirc you only have a 1-2 second correction window for any Cat III landing where the ILS cuts out, compared to something like 8-10 for a Cat I (which is plenty of time for an amateur that’s been coached on the procedure to do a missed landing then give it back to the autopilot, that’s super easy). Plus the number of airports that can even do just a Cat II at least used to be pretty low (150 in the US?), and Cat III rated airports are even fewer (I dont think there’s double digits that can do a IIIB, and afaik there’s still none in the world rated for IIIC…)
(edit: came off more aggro than I meant, changed wording so I sound like less of a dick!)
I like your funny words, flying person. Keep 'em coming.
If it has autopilot and autobrakes, surely all those other buttons aren’t needed?
thank
Saving this. Might come in handy some day.
This is the detalization I need when I meet some new machinery which I understand the working principles and already worked with something similar.
Soon there are self flying AI Airplanes
Removed by mod
You know what? You’re absolutely right.
People: please leave flying 737s to trained experts with the know-how, FAA licensure, and medical clearance. They know better than you even if you think you can do it from a meme.
It’s very important that you not touch ANY of the buttons and dials on a 737. People could get hurt or even die if you do.
You just saved countless lives by clarifying this🙏🙏🙏 (i was about to steal one)
Chill, it’s just a shitpost.
BTW, a regular person can likely fly and land a 737 with some basic ATC instructions, there have been multiple experiments demonstrating this (in a simulator). A guide like this would be immensely helpful in that situation.
Set autopilot to fly approach -> activate ILS. Besides the radio there’s essentially no other controls you would need to touch in an emergency (landing gear (if not handled by ILS), autobrake, engine stop, parking brake, door controls), and it’s very easy (by design) for the tower to talk you through the settings to do that. This meme is more than enough to familiarize you with the basic control locations in case you need to make an adjustment based off tower instructions, but at the same time buddy chill TF out it’s a meme.
(note that realistically it would never be you-a-passenger doing this, it’d be one of the cabin crew)
Are you saying this is actually accurate? I assumed it was a joke and none of those things actually did what they say.
I haven’t flown a jumbo jet but yeah, pretty accurate.
Planes are easy, keep your speed up, nose above the horizon, and watch your fuel.
Everyone should steal a plane at least once.
If it’s a newer 737, it is already a very expensive wreck.
