The paradox of tolerance is just one philosophy on free speech (well really, an argument against it). Personally I think it is too easy to abuse to be a useful guide. EVERYONE thinks they are tolerant and EVERYONE thinks their political opposition isn’t, so if everyone subscribes to the idea of the paradox of tolerance you end up with the people with power always trying to suppress the opposition. For example conservatives literally refer to the left as “the intolerant left”.

Someone has to help them see the contradictions within their own beliefs, if they don’t get there on their own. For the most part, I think the most likely candidates are people who were once like them (and there are social media accounts like this), since they’ll be more likely to listen to someone who they feel understands them. If people who have already recovered from that life aren’t available, then someone matching the qualities they wouldn’t reject in a friend is the next best thing. In other words, THIS is where allies are supposed to shine if they want to be doing something meaningful to help.

At the earliest, those of us in one or more of their currently most hated marginalized groups can start stepping in once they’ve crossed the threshold from “this doesn’t feel right” to “how do I start connecting with others in a healthier way.” Allies should help them bridge that initial gap first, and then the tougher-skinned ones among their friends in marginalized groups can ideally join in. That’s how a functioning, healthy society should work. Instead of tunnel vision/pipelines and social bubbles, we need genuine healing and connection.

As an aside, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how preemptive (as opposed to reactive) social isolation is actually remarkably analogous to expecting someone in financial poverty to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. It’s just that the problem is an emotional form of poverty instead of financial (or both). Some externalize the pain (hating/blaming group X), and some internalize it (any marginalized group that tries to be MAGA), and some do both (“own the libs!”) but all in all we’re talking about people trying to convince themselves they’re happy while also struggling to drown their own humanity.

By discussing their beliefs with them and not ridiculing them.

By avoiding emotional inaccurate rhetoric and biased sources.

By carefully deconstructing their beliefs without attacking them

Not allowing yourself to be pulled off topic.