Minimum qualifications:
- master’s degree (or preferably PhD) in computer science, computer engineering, or related field.
- 15 years of experience in developing finite element modeling simulations and implementing them as embedded, real time, distributed, and multithreaded applications.
- Proficiency in the following languages: Python, C, C++, Rust, Ruby, MATLAB, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, R, PHP, Perl, Go, and Swift. COBOL is a plus.
The actual job
- Write an html page for our team on our website.
Qualification inflation and no other suitable opportunities.
Employers have blatantly ridiculous demands because they will find people who cater to these demands in a shit system and shit economy.
I mean, just because they post an ad for a rocket surgeon doesn’t mean they find one. At least in the US, compsci professionals do not have any trouble finding work.
I’ve been looking for 8 months… I’ve applied for over 100 positions and had one first round interview.
There is definitely trouble in the CS job market right now. I spoke to a recruiter who had no new jobs on their desk in two months.
You’re the first I’ve heard say that in a long time.
In the rest of the world, even the West, the picture is more dire. Americans tend to avoid hiring non-Americans, and had early mover advantage on computers and the internet.
Thank you. Not super techie and just needed the meme explained.
And btw… sounds like damn good work if you can get it.
Until it’s really unfulfilling.
This. I hate it. It feels like a modern day factory worker job.
When I first graduated I was all caring about design, mainability, etc.
Nope. All that shit is pointless in a large company. Took me too long to notice that Cisco was essentially just throwing as many code monkeys at the problems until things work.
“Fix” a bug in a hacky way that creates 10 more bugs that won’t be found for weeks and be another teams problem because they can’t directly point to your hacky code anyway? That engineer is getting promoted. They fix so many bugs. So many commits!
Take the time to understand the bug and do a rewrite to ensure other platforms are not effected and setup the design so it’s easier to debug in the future? Well, you spent all week on one bug you lazy engineer!
It took me too long to realize that I was the bad programmer. That this is actually what companies want and reward their employees for.
Sorry. Didn’t mean to rant. But your short comment triggered it I guess.
I fucking hate this field. I still love programming though.
There’s also ”we do machine learning”, which usually translates to ”someone trained an SVM model 10 years ago”.
It’s a useless fiction for hiring, but highly effective for getting money from the dumber investors.
I’d really prefer to maintain the crap Jenkins server we were using, but noooo some dipshit higher up got his cock sucked by some M$ exec so it’s github actions now 'cos the cloud will save the world.
I would love to use GH Actions instead tbh or woodpecker
“We must first implement base functionality, then we will add all the auxiliary components.”
x months pass
“Alright, base functionality has been implemented and it works. Good job team, lets ship it!”
Hey, do I work for you?
A friend of mine was applying for a job where they required “at least 5 years knowledge with Angular version X.Y.Z” (can’t remember the exact version, but they asked for all three numbers).
He said “I’ve got 7 years of knowledge with version X-2 to X+2”.
The HR person was like “But you don’t have 5 years of knowledge with version X.Y.Z, so you don’t fit for the job”.
The real fun part was that version X.Y.Z had only been out for two years at that time.
A person who created a thing (language or similar) pointed out that a job listing wanted more experience than time that the thing had existed.
Bogus job description because no-one was actually needed but the budget must be kept?
And HR/employement person didnt know (or did) better and thus decided lile that?Tech recruiters really can be this dumb. I’ve been on both ends several times.
I remember hiring for a test dev, writing the description for the recruiter, I included all the things I’d like to see. Python, test automation experience, open source contributions etc (this was for a public facing repo).
I get back a question a day later asking if they need Java or not. That felt really out of place so I walked over and had a conversation. Turns out they were filtering out anyone who had more than requested. Python AND Java experience? No thank you.
On the upside once we ironed that out I ended up hiring two people I’ve been friends with for a decade+. Sometimes the recruiters just need help.
Now the other side of things…I’ve definitely had recruiters screw up and lose very good candidates, but it was always for stupid shit like they forgot to send the offer letter for a week or they accidentally put them in the “no” pile.
Heh, this one time we got a recruiter ping our team out of the blue saying they had a candidate. No one knew what the hell the position was for. Turns out the recruiters had forgot about a bunch of openings we had closed like a year before, they just never took down the postings. We asked him how he found the job, and the candidate said he manual went through the thousands of open positions until he found one that fit him. He hired him after the first round and he turned out to be awesome.
Goes to show: in many cases the hireing process is about dumb luck and nothing else. For both sides.
So fucking true. I’ve was in an interview, 2nd round, where the recruiter joined the call mid coding exercise to explain that a different recruiter had just given the position to someone else without waiting for feedback on anyone else and therefore they had to stop all in process interviews. She was pissed and apologized. The guy giving the interview just gave me this look like “they do this shit all the time” and ended the call.
Straight up jenkin it
and by “it” I mean … well … my
pipeline
